This is the story I never wanted to tell

What a 1,200-pound animal taught me about leadership, trust, and letting go

Three months ago I made the hardest, bravest, and most loving decision I could ever make. We brought in the year of the fire horse by releasing my sweet William from his pain to become a forever firehorse. It was hard, but I know he is no longer in pain and will never have to taste prascend again. Cushings — a benign tumor on the pituitary gland with comorbidities, came upon us at an early age and the winter was a hard one. He will be forever with us in our hearts. You might ask, why is this a newsletter post? This is a lesson in connection. When you trust your life to a 1200 pound animal it is necessary for you to build connection. The two of us made connection around 22 years ago. I was working with his mother, she was a great horse. I found out that the baby was for sale and I bought him sight unseen. The day he was born, I went to visit and I woke him up. He heard my voice and flipped his head around and he recognized my voice. At that moment we connected and we were each other’s everything.

The lessons of connection

Not only was there a connection. But we trained and learned from each other. I can honestly say that some of the most important leadership lessons I ever learned I learned from a horse. I learned that sometimes you just need to drop the reins and trust. Traveling down a rocky trail, I was nervous and wondering how do I control how this horse maneuvering this situation? The trail was very steep and rocky, I came to the conclusion that he was the expert at his job and that I should trust him to do that job. I dropped the reins and we got to our destination safely.

Emotions reflected

The lessons learned about nervous system regulation were invaluable. Horses are prey animals and they reflect our emotions. I learned to not instantly react. To take a breath and think before reaction. Horses reflect our energy. When I’m frustrated, you are going to get frustration mirrored right back at you. When I’m anxious, I get the same wound up response mirrored back to me. When I’m calm, I get calm. If I go in with any feelings, I can take brush and groom and calm myself down as I just calmed down the horse by grooming.

The teacher

He taught me to read people. I keyed in on this because he definitely knew how to read people. It’s the mirroring of emotions and a person’s nervous system. It’s something that I really can’t explain. He taught me patience. When you care for a special needs horse for around eight years, through his complications you develop true patience. He taught me trust, the connection builds trust and he taught me to trust my instincts.

He was a natural leader. In the hierarchy of a typical herd, mares are the alpha. A lead mare places the order for the others on where they should be and where others stand when grazing. We once observed as he was placed in a herd of mares how he instantly connected to the mare at the bottom of the herd hierarchy and with his support they became the alpha’s of the herd. He literally strutted into the crowd, picked the timid girl and made her the queen, it almost seemed like something from a movie. From there on out we jokingly called him the alpha mare.

He was the best workshop partner. He has attended many of my workshops and was an avid volunteer in the therapy program at the barn. At one of our workshops as we were working he actually came around and did some quality checking of the work.